Bullshitting

        It's a part of our life. We all know it. We're all familiar with it. We've all done it. And we all see it. With their fake smiles and polite gestures. No one likes it when its called out into the light. To find out someone is being fake. Why can’t people just chill and be themselves. To be a "bullshitter" means not to be yourself and pretend to be someone else. But what defines who one truly is?

There are two types of bullshitting. Positive and negative. Both are generally looked down upon. There is the type of bullshitting when someone wears a fake smile, or pretends to actually care when they don’t. We see it all the time. People pretending to be friendly when you know they could give a shit. But what we don’t seem to realize is that this particular type of bullshitting is imperative in growing in character. When someone bullshits like this, they are being opposite of who they are at that time and how they truly feel. But then again, who we are can always change and is always changing. Who we are is defined by how we feel, think, speak and act. No one is permanently "who they are" at any specific point in time. We can choose who we are. And by bullshitting, we are trying to do just that. When someone is in a bad mood and chooses to smile, wave and say have a nice day to someone they pass on the street, that person is going against how they truly feel. One could call it lying and one could call it being "fake". But one can also call it virtuous and loving. Someone can be angry at or dislike a particular person, but instead of punching them in the face or acting on spite, they are overly polite and friendly, pretending that there is no problem. You could call this dishonest or just simply bullshitting yourself and that person. Or you could call it being humble, or choosing to be kind. You see, it is more than just "being fake" when we decide to act against our negative emotions or our "natural" ways of being. It's fulfilling an obligation to love. To love even when you don’t want to. To be kind even when you hate. To be humble when you are angry.

Little do we know, this type of bullshitting plays a huge part in who we choose to become, despite all of our flaws. It's like the term "fake it till you make it". When an anti-social person that struggles with confidence and low self-esteem pretends to be outgoing and personable, they are doing more than just bullshitting. They are growing. If "played" enough, that person can become outgoing and personable, and therefore, would no longer be bullshitting themselves or anyone else. You see, we have the ability to be anyone we want. It is why we have our personal flaws. That we may realize what kind of person we are actually meant to be by practicing against that flaw. The person that is angry can practice against that to become the patient and the gentle. That is why we have flaws, so that we can grow against them. How do we do that? Bullshitting... by practicing the opposite even though we don’t want to. This allows the naturally prideful man to become the naturally humble man. The naturally dishonest man to become the naturally honest man. The naturally cruel man to become the naturally loving and compassionate man. We are defined by what we say, think and do. So if we say think and do differently, eventually, that differently will become who we are. Everyone has the ability to be whoever they want to be. To mold themselves into whomever they need to. Especially if it goes against who you already are at that time.

But the second type of "bullshitting" is never something to justify. And honestly, it’s enough to piss off anyone. When someone finds truth and lives that truth out (finds a way of being and proud to live it out), that person shines as an individual and an example of the truths inside of him or her that define them. But when a person has those truths in who they are and covers them up from everyone else, it’s never a pleasant thing to see. People may do this to either "fit in", blend in, become accepted, remain accepted, and so much more. But what if someone is already "in" with the crowd and chooses to cover up who he is (and should be proud of being) just to blend in. That person fails to shine as an individual and an example to other people that those particular truths... are socially acceptable. These types of people, condone and encourage things in a social environment that they are very much, and passionately, against. So how is someone supposed to know that those truths are not to be ashamed of if the best of men hide it in their hearts and blend in with the rest, joining the stereotypical jackass way of being.

(The other night, being myself, I picked up a random woman walking on the side of the road to give her a ride home. It never matters to me what time of night it is, the persons sex, race, age or who they might be. That’s just me. She got in my car and not soon after (due to things I will not mention) I realized she was a prostitute and she wanted to "take care of me" for a ride home. She told me she was looking for a "good time" and I said I was too, but I don’t think we are talking about the same thing as I took her hand off my leg and held it in mine. She asked me then why did a handsome young man pick her up. I said to give her a ride home because it was cold out and no one should have to walk in this weather. She called me a liar in disbelief that a "sexy young man would ever be so kind to a stupid drunk invisible woman". She said that no one has ever passed a kind word to her or even acknowledged her existence unless they were looking for a "good time" at the bar she "attends" every night. She said that no one loves her and I grabbed her hand, looked into her eyes and said, "God loves you". She broke out crying, expressing all the hurt she has been through, never knowing an ounce of love or kindness from anyone and everything she does every day (going out every night, getting drunk, doing drugs and picking up men). In her fit of tears she said, "Why do I deserve to meet a good man like you just to tell me that God still loves me". It was very humbling. We talked for a couple more hours before I drove her home. At the end she told me she has been trying to kill herself and that night, I saved her life. I was deeply humbled and honored. Why should I have the blessing of being able to touch someone in that way...)

But regardless, if I were a bullshitter in what truth I have found and what I am truly passionate about I would have said nothing that I did (or would have half-assed it). That woman would have never felt that loved and I wouldn’t have been so humbled by her tears. Nothing is worse than seeing a good man or woman half-ass or cover up the goodness that they have found just for the sake of blending in to the point where he or she would encourage and condone that which they are completely against. What is the point in having truth in yourself if you don’t let anyone know it is there and no one else will explore truth for themselves. It’s pointless and disgusting. That brings a whole to meaning to the terms "faker", "bullshitter" and, excuse me for this, "pussy".

I have done this many times and I have also done just the opposite (shoving truths and my own passions down random people’s throats) and that’s never a good thing. But don’t cover it up in such a way that no one knows who you truly are or even believes you to be the opposite. There is no greater insult to your own dignity.

People need to search for who they want to be and just chill out, being that person at all times. No one likes a bullshitter.