"No Regrets"

“No Regrets” is a common mentality in going about life. It is a very popular outlook on a future of guilt-free happiness. But frankly, it doesn’t really make sense, does it?

People everywhere say it, post it, and add it to their info and descriptions on social networks. To have no regrets in how your life has gone and what mistakes you have made is the new psychological medication for a healthy progression through life. No looking back. But it’s a contradiction in and of its self if you think about it. A mistake is a choice you have made that you have realized to be the wrong one. Considering it to be the wrong decision means that you recognize that things would have been better if you had made the right decision. You can’t say you don’t regret a mistake, because that in and of itself is contradictory.

Regret and Guilt are not the same thing. Guilt is a haunting that perpetually plagues your mind in conscious sorrow and depression. It clings to the past, forever looking back at the mistake you’ve made. Regret, however, is the simple acknowledgement that a mistake was made, however intense the feeling of regret may be depending on the particular mistake. When you regret something, you are saying that you believe it was the wrong decision to make, as opposed to the right decision to make at the time. Therefore, in saying it was a wrong decision, you believe it should have been different and would be better if it was different. So when you regret something, you wish you could have made the right choice. Regret doesn’t have to be accompanied by Guilt. It can be, but they are entirely different and separate things. Guilt is a conscious element of sorrow. Regret is not conscious. It is the disposition that defines your thoughts on your mistakes, recognizing and defining them as wrong. It is not always conscious or thought about. Only acknowledged when the questioning of a choice or a mistake has been brought up.

Saying you regret something is not the same as saying you are living in the damaging Guilt of it.

Most people in this day and age would say that they wouldn’t change a thing if they could go back and choose differently. But that is saying that they have never made a mistake or made a wrong choice.  Is there really such thing as perfect people like that, who never, have never, and will never do anything wrong? When a situation is presented to someone where a choice has to be made, if they say that they made the wrong decision, they are saying that the situation and its results went wrong. And by saying that, they acknowledge that the outcome and its fallowing results would have been better if the right decision had been made. So how could someone look back on a mistake and say they wouldn’t change it? That seems fairly ignorant and stupid.

A lot of people believe that you can’t grow without experience. That you can’t learn without slipping up and growing from those slip ups. That makes sense, after all, when you do something wrong, in recognizing that it was a mistake, you learn and grow from it. That’s why people say that they wouldn’t change a thing if they could go back and do everything differently, because that wouldn’t make them who they are now. But has anyone ever thought that maybe you can grow and learn even more from making the right decision than you would making the wrong one to begin with. When a situation presents itself where you have to choose to either make the right decision or the wrong one, if you have the strength and the wits to make the right choice, you sure as hell grow in strength a lot more then you would if you were ignorant and naïve enough to make the wrong one. How can I strengthen myself if I never succeed in making the decision to work out. Yes you can learn and grow from your mistakes, but you can grow stronger than you would by making the right decision to begin with. That’s why it’s called “right” and “wrong”. People use the excuse that they wouldn’t be who they are now without making those mistakes to blind themselves to the wrong they have done and the damage that wrong has done that could have been avoided or the opposite if they hadn’t made those mistakes to begin with.

Sometimes we must Fall

In order to Rise

But if you can Rise without Falling

Then don’t Fall into these Lies

That doesn’t mean that we have to perpetually feel bad for our mistakes. That would be living in Guilt. And that has its place and time. But it is not permanent and never should be. Regret is permanent. It is not a feeling or a dark sorrow that drags you down. It is just the acknowledgement that what choice was made was a mistake. It is what allows us to grow. Without Regret, we couldn’t possibly grow. If I don’t regret the mistakes I have made, then I don’t realize the wrong in them that make them mistakes. “We are what we do”? That is only true in the moment. But truly, we are how we think. If I make a mistake that I am perfectly fine with having had made, then I don’t believe it was a mistake or that it was wrong, and that choice defines who I am. If I were to grow from making a wrong decision, I would have to recognize it as a mistake. And that in and of itself makes me a different man. We can’t grow without changing and progressing in life. That means recognizing and learning from what we have done right and what we have done wrong. We can’t call something wrong without regret in making that choice. And without that realizing, we could never grow or change from that choice. That choice would define us and who we are, and the similar choices we would make in the future.

I have a lot of regrets. I have no guilt, because that truly would suppress my growth from my mistakes. But hopefully, I will never look back at what I have done wrong and fail to recognize the wrong in those choices. I will forever learn from those wrong choices, BECAUSE I regret them.

Objectification

Warning: explicit content

Objectifying people is not only acceptable in society, it is encouraged. To objectify a person is to treat them as an object. A common word for this is Lust. Lust is using someone for your own shallow, cheap and selfish gain or pleasure. You use someone when you are only their friend for what good they can serve you (car rides, social involvement, money, ect…). When you lust after someone, you use them for your own cheap selfish sexual gain. There is no difference in using someone for your own gain and thinking of them simply as that, and using someone for your own gain and thinking of them simple as that (a piece of meat to serve as eye candy).

We see and take part in it all the time. When a “hot” girl walks by, we look at her as though all she may be is a tight ass and a nice rack. We degrade her with comments such as “Hey, check “that” out. She’s hot.” As if she doesn’t have a name, a heart, a soul or a personality to fall in love with or define her as an individual. Nope, she’s just meat. Women do this with men too. When a man takes off his shirt in a movie, girls would make an “oh shit!” kind of sound that sounds like they are having a mild orgasm (what the hell?!). “mmm, mmm, mmm” is all we men sitting next to you in the theater hear. We are degraded for who we are by assuming who we are and how we are appreciated is only based on how we look.

People even go so far as to encourage this. Have you ever had a girl walk up to you and have you check out another girl? It’s like, what the hell are they doing and what purpose does that serve them? I guess it has gotten so far as to be complementary to people. Who could blame them. The only appreciation they can get in today’s world is our objectifications. Everyone searches and desires to be loved and cared about. I guess that’s why some girls dress the way they do. They realize that showing as much ass as they can is the only way they can get people’s attention. Our selfish using desires have become a good thing to people. When in reality, we are disrespecting and insulting people.

Even people who realize this take ironic part in it. Like in Brittany Spears’ video “Womanizer”, she sings about men womanizing women for their own selfish desires…..and yet, in the video, she is greased up and naked the whole time, haha!

Our bodies are the tangible representatives of who we are (see note: “The Tangible Life”). This meaning, our bodies are supposed to represent who we are in terms of personality, heart and mind. And yet we treat people as though all they are is their bodies. Umm, by calling you “hot” instead of beautiful, we just called you “shallow” instead of angelic.

In discovering and following truths, I motivate myself by acknowledging just how I hurt Christ when I go against said truths. The hurt I cause my God through lust, at one time in my life, was a hard thing to realize when trying to avoid it. I would ask questions like, “I know it’s wrong, but really, how am I actually hurting you by looking at someone like that or thinking of someone in that way or whatever actions I may pursue involving the subject (aka: object)?”. I thought long and hard but never could imagine the concept of lust being such an important corruption with so much gravity attached to it. Without the motivation of knowing how I hurt God in such a huge way when I sin with lust, I am able to fall into those sins and ways of objectification more easily because I lacked the appropriate amount of guilt attached to it. This was a huge pause in the increasing of my relationship with Christ. The confusion was overbearing. I always tried not to look at people that way, talk about people in that manner, think of people like that, or dwell on those corrupted selfish ideas for my own pleasure. But I never felt really bad when I failed. That was until, one day, I thought of one of my friends in a lustful way. Treating them as a means to my own cheap sexual gratification. When I realized what I was doing, I nearly cried. I remember how much it hurt knowing I hurt someone I cared about like that, even though they did not know about it. You see, it is all about human dignity and there is no greater insult to another’s human dignity than being treated as an object. Whether it be with someone’s eyes or thoughts…. Or even, in a lot of cases today, actions, sadly. I remember feeling terrible, walking around apologizing into the empty air to my friend who was not even there. By using her in that way, I disrespected the amazing girl she is and hurt her, even if she did not know it. And that hurt a lot. I found my motivation.

Love builds people up, keeps people strong, and brings dignity to human beings. When you lust, you are acting on your selfish desires and selfishness breaks people down because it focuses on you and you alone. I, as a man, sincerely apologize on behalf of all men to all women for our self-centered way of being and the way we treat you for our own pleasure. But honestly, it goes both ways. It creates a peer pleasured cycle in human bodily looks being directly and singly correlated with the opportunity to be loved (in any way). Love gives, Lust takes. Objectification hurts.

Labels

  Everyone known to anyone is defined by labels. Whether it be labels of political stances, religion, personality or even genres, people tend to define a person by the “category” they fall under regarding the particular matter. What society needs to learn is nobody, as individuals, can be defined by a particular label or party. Its either you are liberal or conservative, republican or democrat, and much more depending on what you are talking about. There are no in-betweens. You just are one or the other. And what you chose to go more under is how you are defined through and through regarding the matter.

Regarding politics and government, you are either Republican or Democrat. There are no either or’s. How can you categorize someone’s entire political and governmental opinions into just two parties? Which one do I have to chose? If I chose Republican then I have to be enthusiastically ecstatic for the idea of war when I’m very much not. I think, when it comes down to it, we have to maintain order and peace in defense through war. But the idea of battling our disputes out, shedding endless blood of our “pawns” (troops) and even more blood of innocent locals has always, in general, disturbed me. But if I chose Democrat, that means I will also have to be enthusiastically ecstatic for the idea of giving someone else the right to shove a medal hanger into another person, from a very uncomfortable point of entry, to rip another innocent human being apart. Hmmmmm…….. Republican it is.

There is also the “issue” of Capitalism and Communism. I “grew up” believing that capitalism was the only right and Communism is of Satan. But I mean is there really that much evil in thinking it might be a good thing for the rich to help the poor in society up. Granted, there are demands in society needed to keep a country alive and those demands require special abilities. Abilities that take a lot of work. So the idea of making all mans income and financial possession equal takes away motivation to acquire such demanding positions. Why not just work as a cashier in your local food store? This makes sense of Capitalism. But the idea of Communism is still in effect, even in a Capitalist county. Its why we have taxes taken out. Is it really good for society when there are people making millions doing nothing and people nearly homeless without work? Granted, to full scale go for communism would be a bad idea, but is the idea and advice of it really such an evil idea? Going full scale Capitalist seems to heartless and selfish, but going full scale Communist would be stupid and unfair. So what does that make me? What is my Label? I feel like both ideas can work together, a Capitalist run nation of progression as well as incorporating the idea of Communism moderately to keep society as a whole strong, leaving no man on his own to die. I don’t know. To fall under the Label of Communism or Socialism would be to fall under the Label of complete retardation. But to fall under the Label of Capitalism would seem too strictly heartless. I guess that’s why when anyone asks me my political views, I just say Moderate..

There are also two opposing labels regarding the concept of abortion. To society, you are either “Pro-life” or the bubbled up label “Pro-choice”. (See note, “My Body, My Right”)

Even Art (music, movies, ect…) has Labels and Genres on it. Doesn’t that defeat the definition, purpose and dignity of Art? (See note, “The Obligation of Art”)

To be “Religious” is now a label. The term “Religious” in society today means to live one’s life under dictation of God and the rules in Religion. It has become a way of describing someone that believes in God and has morals. People assume that when someone is labeled “Religious”, they fallow dictation when it comes to morality, banning all moral reasoning. My new ethics teacher spends half his time in class bashing Religion because he believes it to dictate moral rules demanded by God outside the bounds of moral reasoning. Who could blame him, the way society now treats the label “religious”. It makes it nearly impossible for someone to realize the truth in Religion being outside of God and moral truth. That it is just a tool used by those who have already and/or are still establishing truth through moral reasoning. This way of thinking was brought into society because of the “Devine Command theory”. The Devine Command Theory states that right is right and wrong is wrong simply because God said so. Frankly, that is the biggest load of horse shit I have ever heard. I am “Anti-Authoritarian”. It means I do not believe in dictation of a defining way of life simply because someone says so. If anyone follows the Devine Command Theory (meaning if they follow the rules presented in their Religion simply because their Religion says so) they are no better than horse shit as well. Morality is a defining in right and wrong. Not a list that someone wrote for the hell of it and demands people to follow it just because he said so. There is no greater insult to God. God calls all of us to seek and find truth. To understand life and the way it ought to be lived. That is morality. Not to read and obey words. It’s those people whose morality is based on their Religious dictations that make society and people like my new Ethics teacher treat the label of “Religion” the way they do.  So because I am “Anti-Authoritarian” for the same reason my new teacher is also “Anti-Authoritarian”, I can properly defend the use and purpose of religion by incorporating moral reasoning as its structure. He hates me now ;)

When it comes to how open you are regarding concepts of life and change, you are either Liberal or Conservative. To be considered a Conservative means you are stubborn in the traditional ways of life involving morality, government, and issues, leaving no room for change or exception. To be a Liberal means you are not only open, but all for change, whatever it may be. Especially if it goes against the traditional way. So to be a Liberal is just as stubborn as being a Conservative. You want my opinion? I think they are both foolish. So which one am I then?

There is a term used in society used to label people called “Uber-Conservative”. When someone in this day and age calls someone an uber-conservative, it means that person takes common traditional life concepts (usually involving morality) to an over excessive and unreasonable degree and is very stubborn on them. This would be the type of person you would see saying things like alcohol is the devil or skirts are evil. The “traditional” view on alcohol involves the immorality of getting drunk, not necessarily alcohol in and of itself. And the “traditional” view on dress involves keeping ourselves and those around us free from lustful thoughts and inappropriate temptations, not whether or not someone wants to where a skirt of whatever size because it is hot out or a pair of pants because they are comfortable. When asked why they empower these extremes, they have no answer rather than referencing to their label, whether it be religious or not. They are the kind of people that get all up in your face about the most unreasonable stubborn issues where no issue is to be had. We have all met one, and we all hate them. I have used this word (uber-conservative) to describe a particular type of person as well. However, society is really good at taking the actual definition of a term and making it into a label that does not fit with its original definition. Has anyone ever thought about what to be conservative in something actually means? It means to be strong and not easily moved in the understandings in truth involving life you have found. When living out those understandings and holding them close to your heart, you are “conservative” in those truths. I would hope that anyone who has come to understand truths regarding life, morality and behavior would be conservative in them. Why would you have reason not to? The term “Uber-Conservative” is used to describe a fool who takes things that can, traditionally, have truth attached to them way too far to the point where it becomes unreasonable. However, the “label” is miss-used. With the truth in what it means to be conservative in something you have come to understand, I can honestly say that I am, and proudly, an Uber-Conservative..

                It is hard to publically express what labels you fall more under to people who don’t know you. For if you state a label, the people will think of you the way society treats that particular label, which is not necessarily how you my stand. For instance, for the people that know me personally, I can say I believe in “Choice”, am “Republican”, “Religious”, and “Conservative”. But since Society has miss-guided absolute definitions on said labels, to anyone who does not personally know me, I am forced to generalize and say I am “Pro-life”, politically “Moderate”, of “Faith”, and a fanatic in searching for understanding in Truth, to be most accurate…but I would just rather people get to know me and I them.  Is it really that hard to diminish the idea of “Labels” in order to define an individual?

"My Body, My Right"

                There are extreme debates of morality between the two parties of “Pro-Life” and “Pro-Choice” involving the moral concept of abortion. But does anyone stop and think of what those labels actually imply?

A common “pro-choice” saying used in a lot of arguments in defending the right of abortion is “My body, my right”. Although I am only 21, I have some contrabution I would like to make to this so hear me out. This phrase implies that every individual has a right to make their own decisions involving their own bodies. Who could argue that? We have free will and a right to choose for ourselves regarding our own personal lives. So morality of said “rights” is not the issue. The issue is: What is “your own”? I will be the first to say that I believe and fallow the truthful phrase “my body, my right” to its full meaning and extreme, and I am proud to say so. It is my body. I, and I alone, have the right to it more so than anyone else. No one else can make those decisions for me. Those who are “pro-choice” are probably inspired by this and let me tell you, I too am “pro-choice” because of these reasons. But we are not on the same page, believe me. If you truly believe in “my body, my right” you are (rightfully) pro-choice, but also, you are anti-abortion. If you believe that you have a right to choice and to make decisions over your own body and that no one else can, you are anti-abortion. Because for as long as you have been you and you have had your own body, you believe no one has a rite over your own body, especially to take your life and kill your body. Only you have that right. No one has a right to destroy (kill) your own body for as long as it has been YOUR body. (Whether you are 6’2”, 4’6”, 2’5” or even just 6” tall). For as long as your body has existed it has been yours and you have had right over it more so than anyone else, even your mother. Tell me, does my mother (God Bless her awesomeness) have a right to walk into my workplace and kill me? Did she have that right when I was 18? How about 12? No? What about 3? No? Then how about 1? Still no? Wow your smart. What about 4 months old? Now you’re catching on. It does not matter how long my body has existed or how small it is, it has always been mine. And no one else, even my mother, has right over my body, even if my body is in hers. 

                So yes, I am a full believer in “My body, my right” and always will be. This makes me “pro-choice” and proud to be. It also makes me “pro-life” and anti-abortion. I think those who consider themselves to be “pro-choice” and believe the killing of someone else’s body to be their right need to get a new label. Because anyone who is really “pro-choice” would be completely against the idea of abortion being a “right”. I am pro-life and that makes me pro-choice. For all those fallowing the lie under the label “pro-choice”, you are a fool for doing so. So save yourself some dignity and choose a label that actually makes sense to fall under. Like murderers, dictators, or slave gods to name a few….


Ps: This note was recognized by NJRTL and was sent in to and posted on the official CNN News blog

Prejudice and Persecution

Social acceptance runs society and always has. If a concept does not fit into the society’s “norm” than it is labeled and out casted. This gives birth to over 90% of prejudices and persecutions alive in the world today and throughout history.

           The most common persecution active throughout all of time is the prejudices between races. People being separated from “normal” society because of where they originated from or just for having a different skin tone. Is there really any difference between human beings involving how much more of a tan one may naturally have more so than someone else that has the “pleasure” of being pasty white like the inside of a cream filled donut? (such as myself). All throughout history people have been segregated according to where they came from of what they look like. It has even gotten to the point where unnecessary violence is involved…what the hell? It goes on today and involves everyone. Most people, for some reason, have a silent conscious awareness if someone is of a different skin color. This causes people, without even knowing it, to segregate people in their own minds! I never understood the concept of racism. To be honest, I am the most race oblivious person on this earth. The last thing I will realize about a person is what color their skin is unless it is somehow brought to my attention by someone who is, for some reason, more aware of that pointless shit than I am. People are all the same to me as far as judging them at first glance. This can lead to humiliation though. For instance, when I pull a racist joke out that I had a cheap laugh over in front of all my friends when they just happen to be of that particular race….and I would never even know. Or when someone cracks a stereotyping racial comment to or about one of their friends when the person cracking it is of that same race… I would never get the joke. It is a good thing though cuz honestly, does it matter two shits?

          One of the most remembered persecutions of our history is the persecution of the Jews. Because of their particular religion they were rounded up, treated as slaves, beaten and eventually murdered.  What was the point?  Religious prejudice still goes on today. The question “Are you religious?” has lost its meaning because of how Religion is presented in society today by those who fallow them. When someone asks are you religious, are they asking if you believe in God? Or are they asking if you fallow a particular Religion? Either way, when the question is posed and the answer is “yes”, the only thing that goes through the head of the questioner is “Oh, he is one of those rule following, bible hugging, shove it down your throat with no real explanation kind of people. Unfortunately, for 98% of “Religious” people, that judgment is spot on. That is why I hate the question “Are you religious?” I don’t know how to answer it. How, in one simple answer, can I say that I love God, explore truth, am passionate about it, and on the side use a Religion to help me as well? While also trying to express to them, regardless of how passionate I am on the matter, that I am not your stereotypical Religious person that will get into your face, pressing and shoving rules down your throat, because I happened to have been raised religious? That’s the opposite of who I am. After all, how can you have a belief that you don’t thoroughly believe in for good and rational reason? Now, mostly because of how “Religious” people represent Religion, Religion is looked down upon and thought to be the enemy and a dictation and or slavery. As a result, Religious people are persecuted for their beliefs because no one seems to understand the difference between coming to an understanding on something and being dictated to. There are even persecutions between different Religions of the same Faith. Such as the prejudices between different denominations of Christianity or lack thereof. It’s the same Faith! Being a Catholic, I have witnessed these persecutions with my own eyes, particularly from those fallowing the same Religion as I. There is nothing more disgraceful and no bigger insult to a great Religion than those who fallow it.

         Even the “gay community” is persecuted for their weaknesses. Someone who is labeled “gay” would be beaten up, picked on, and separated from “the group”. Picketers and strikers gather in an area where homosexuals congregate and scream out asshole comments with their signs in hand like “God hates faggots”, and much, much more. Now that is truly disgusting and an even greater lie than believing homosexuality is natural and biological. I am the first to say that the acceptance of homosexual lifestyles and permanent ways of being and labeling it as “natural” in society is not only immoral, but also one of the greatest lies being obliviously believed in today’s day and age. However, same sex attraction is a very real concept that people do struggle with. It is in lacking the acknowledgement that it is a Struggle where the immorality lays. But, more so, the immoralities of how homosexuals are treated by others in society far outweigh the immoralities involved in the acceptance of a homosexual lifestyle. You can argue that by saying homosexuality is a lie, a corruption of human sexuality and should not be accepted in society and you would be right. But let me ask you this: Do you honestly think that failing to recognize and giving into a personal human struggle is any more immoral than being unkind, unloving, engaging in violent and degrading activities, and being gruesomely cruel to other human beings? If so, you are one sick bastard. Love, kindness and compassion trumps every possible situation.

           Even those with physical and mental disabilities are persecuted. Some young woman is born with a completely different way of thinking or some young man can’t use his legs because of a tragic childhood accident and people in society treat than as less than any other human being. I never understood that. The whole concept of bullies has always pissed me off. Why do people get the idea to beat on and pick on someone? Maybe the person is two smart? Has a slow metabolism? Hasn’t established their social way of being yet? Why does being prejudice against other people, for whatever reason, seem to be so attractive to some people? Is their ego or pride hanging on the balance and by overpowering someone else and breaking down their dignity help feed their egos and make them feel like they are worth something? I have been on both sides of this. I have been bullied, and let me tell you, it hurts when you’re already struggling with your own dignity and someone comes along and breaks it some more. And I have bullied others as well. I can honestly say the reason for it was to build up my self-shattered ego and make myself feel like I have some sort of power. Because, as you know, having power makes you a real man! During this short stage of my life, I was so little of a man and believe me, picking on who I felt comfortable to pick on only made me less of one. I don’t know what snapped me out of it but I’m thankful it happened almost immediately after it had begun. I don’t know, maybe someone older who did have more social status or dignity passed a kind word or encouragement to me. Wait! What does that mean?! Can it be possible that Loving others makes yourself and those others more of men? Wow! That’s like a revelation! Common, this is second grade shit! When will people learn to use their prejudices in a good way by publically realizing that the man who picks on the other is less of a man than the 13 year old fairy in your English class.

Prejudices give birth to active persecutions. Results of these persecutions are concepts and dwellings on hate, acting on violence, cruelty, cold-heartedness, murder and just downright making other human beings who have hearts feel like shit. People of all ages do this to some degree. When will we grow up and stop hurting each other.